Doreen On Tm, 2

Interview with Doreen on TM

MP:

You describe it as "sitting and doing TM" and I am curious what this means. What were you doing, just sitting meditation? Repeating the mantra?

Doreen:

I recall that it was important to sit with a straight back, according to the formal technique. I do not think there was an emphasis on sitting in lotus position, etc. Eyes closed, repeat the mantra silently (in the head)... It feels like there was a prelude to starting the mantra...? I do know that I could see in my forehead region, a feeling of movement and light lines that went "in and out"... felt like a butterfly flapping its wings.

And not having thoughts, because of the repetition of the mantra.... not sure, if the mantra ever got "dropped" within a session, technically. I know it dropped away as I "got into the" deep no-mind state. The tension I felt in "having" to regularly do this, on a schedule... just did not work for me.

Much later on, I could be in any position, almost anywhere... to "achieve" this place of deep stillness. (Without having "correctly" practiced TM technique). I want to add, just now, it came to me, that in some complex way..."keeping the mantra" to oneself (as a secret word) gave the whole 'thing' some kind of energy... I feel.

MP:

What was it like later when you picked up the mantra again and made it a part of your meditation practice? Also, did you have any clear sense of what you were onto then?

Doreen:

Actually, when I picked up the mantra again, the occasions I used it were in group meditation/relaxation settings... i .e. end of a yoga session (taken for exercise), unique group circumstances, a couple interesting retreats. (I may have used it in preparing for the birth of my first child...in conjunction with relaxation techniques)... So its usage was sporadic until 2004.

Interestingly...I started to meditate in the most routine practice I had ever experienced. I got started with "meditation" prompted by a friend sharing with me her new practice of lighting a candle and sitting near a flower/plant. We shared no other information about techniques, etc.

Every time– after lighting the candle, and arranging a flower...I sat on the couch, closed my eyes, began thinking/saying the mantra in my mind... in a very short time, I had to lie down. So I did!! I never resisted this impulse... nor "could" I! I felt drugged, every time. And so I would dream... had lucid (?) dreams...dreams in which I felt sensations, saw powerful images, heard beautiful singing... and coming out of the dreams to sounds as if someone else was in my house....

During this relatively brief period... (a few months, I think)...it took no time at all... to be in this deep state, each time I sat down. I think I stopped lighting the candle, early on!! The mini-ceremony just kick started that time period...No clear sense, AT ALL, of what I was on to!! At least, not in the mind! I had no clue I was on my way to becoming an accidental "mystic?" LOL!

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