Interview with Rahasya
Thank you for that. Is it your belief that this was in fact some necessary healing going on, establishing for you a deeper connection to source– beyond biological heritage and deeper into original nature?
The territory I glimpsed in those moments is vast, but not transcendent. I call it the esoteric zone, or the space between regular life and death. It is quite a varied and complex territory, encompassing all of what people call past lives, genetic memory, malevolent entities, ghosts, guardian spirits, things that can be channeled, and even the Akashic records. It is also the dimension in which habits and patterns of massed consciousness become engraved and develops a shape which individual consciousness tends to follow … what Jung calls archetypes.
I am not very enthusiastic about these areas. Certainly, they are often an inducement to take the path, and certainly, a seeker invariably has a few things that can only be addressed in the esoteric zone. Nonetheless, with the typically more advanced seekers I get to work with, this territory is just as much, if not more of a distraction as TV. I call it Esoteric TV.
Satori, in the bastardized English way I use the word, means a flash of light in the darkness. It is a glimpse of truth, not truth itself– a look from a window, not a walk in the field. They happen. They are sometimes terrifying, sometimes wonderful. When they have passed, the mind holds a memory of the satori, and interpolates from that memory at its peril.
There is an old story involving blind men encountering each a part of an elephant. Each has experienced something of truth, but only a part. The resulting descriptions vary from whip to tree. Interpolating from their observations will not likely give much of an idea of the elephant itself. I encourage some exploration of the esoteric zone, but most of my students come to me after much prior work. I do intervene to prevent them becoming entranced or getting too ego-high in these experiences.
I prefer them to be regarded as the rarely encountered fringes of experience, not something distinct from normal experience– nothing in any way more special than any other moment. My work with people is largely about helping them to face and handle the loss of attachment to things that keep their ego-minds entranced. There is, for me, no essential difference between challenging a student's attachment to regular worldly things and their attachment to, for example, their close personal relationship with an esoterically-sourced Goddess.
By far the greatest and most necessary spiritual work on my own path was in the common, mundane, seemingly well known areas of experience. Those few days with Veetman and what he taught me of sincerity and acceptance was of great use to me. Possibly the fringe experiences which followed were necessary to the unfolding of my path. The considerable personal work I had done before and the years of intent meditation that followed were unquestionably vital.
I want to ask a few questions about Tantra, but before that I cannot resist. I have to ask a rather odd and perhaps funny question. Frankly, I am not sure what to expect...but I feel it is important for getting to the heart of your personal meditation practice. You write a great deal about yourself as a teacher. I want to really get to a certain vulnerability that is the essence of this whole thing. Can you give a personal account of the beauty of the divine you witness in yourself and all in your deepest meditation practice?
Existence appears to me to be elegant and simple. Beauty/ugliness, progress/regression, awareness/ignorance, love/hate, compassion/indifference appear at different scales and from various points of view. My experience is that I am completely lived by existence, just as my breath is breathed. I can exaggerate or resist what is happening, just as I can force my breath or hold it– in other words, not much, and not with any endurance.