Van Huebner, 2

Interview with Van Huebner

Van:

Oooo, I like this question. Yes, and okay - so fixating at one point on Pan makes sense here. Animal slash god! But I don't presume myself to be anything godlike. I did at one time believe I was having "visions."– visions, but in the sense of the "man who tasted shapes." I felt like I was seeing the unseen. And so when I attempted to capture a subject swiftly in a "manicgram" I really was taken by a kind of fear that this unseen stuff would overwhelm me too, so it's as if I had to go quickly as if I was in "their" domain, you know. I really did feel I was too close sometimes to losing my mind altogether.

So, anyway, I'm too conscious now of this Jamesian connection between mysticism and neurosis... I don't see ghosts and I don't hear voices... I don't channel, and I'm not the reincarnation of any ancient personage. I am however curious why some would succumb to such beliefs.

MP:

I started this by asking is drawing is your form of meditation, presuming that this is where you come closest to experiencing your own divinity. Do you equate the primal experience with this divinity? In your reference to a space experienced without self-consciousness or the ego, and wanting to come close to a animal's response to stimuli, do you consider this "awe of the world" or what one might call a recovered wonder to be consistent with source or an acausal witness?

Van:

"acausal witness" I googled this phrase... and found this quote-- "Michael Garfield is intent on demonstrating that everything is equally art, science, and spiritual practice" at this Ken Wilbur link. So, here I must mention that I distrust the pretense toward "new age" spirituality– such that I see charlatans all around us trying to sell the consumer the eastern paths to enlightenment and virtue.

I'm too skeptical and perhaps maybe it's my artist's ego that wants to maintain my own version of this "path" I don't know... I see absolutism at the end of all paths frankly- political, spiritual, aesthetic, scientific - everybody wants to be the hero that discovers, claims patent on the "answer" to all our questions. It's all just ego, no matter how many ethereal concepts we proclaim.

So, as a visually inclined human, I refuse by way of my "visions" to succumbing to an overriding union of humans for any coagulation of endeavor. I refuse to be the stalk of the sporangium.

MP:

I love the passion... love it– in your last response. I want to get into this more deeply. This is getting closer to something of a core nature in my opinion.

Van:

Solitude– lots of solitude.

MP:

Setting aside your rant for the moment, I want to focus on what is clearly a passionate and deeply felt personal freedom and creativity that you refuse to compromise. There is tremendous integrity in this, and I have a few questions connected to this and I want to ask you be brief in response. Do you believe that all of us are equipped with the same core creative impulse to exercise our freedom to be ourselves? I am not talking about the quality or capacity to express this freedom, only whether or not the core of it exists.

Van:

Yes.

MP:

Excellent. Would you not also agree that because this creative impulse is something that we all have in common that it is universal? Not the expression or manifestation, but the core sense of freedom that may or may not feel courageous or skilled enough to express it.

Van:

Yes.

MP:

Would you agree also that this same core creative impulse is so universal that it is alive and present in ALL beings, not just human beings? Let's assume that we agree here for a moment so that I get on to a further question and that is as to whether you believe that what we are referring to as universal is in actuality at the core one single creative impulse.

Van:

Hmmm... I'm having difficulty with the word "alive" and "impulse" now. I rather think of this core more as a vestibule to a vast universal space. But let's say for the sake of this interview I say yes to it being "alive" and its singularity. I guess it's any absolute that is anathema to me. I draw by not focusing on any one point but by being open to relationships in my field of view.

MP:

You say you are resistant to absolutes, however would you agree that there is only one whole– that we can speak of everything that exists as one whole– one absolute and single completeness or wholeness that we can call "one"?

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